I can't believe Petey wrote an entry just to cheer me up. *sigh*. That boy is unbelievable sometimes.
I think it's a very bad mix of disappointment and just a sense of loss recently. Somehow I can't seem to think I can do whatever it is that I need to do. It just seems like I'm "faking it" all the time, tricking people into thinking I know what I'm talking about.
Right now, I'm just tired. I wish I know how I'm actually doing sometimes. But then any measurement is subjective really isn't it? You cannot judge someone's achievement objectively, that just doesn't work.
Why is it I constantly crave recognition I'm not too sure. I just know that if I don't do well then I'm a failure. Blame it on my oh-so-wonderful fatehr who drilled it into me since I'm a kid that I have to be the best in everything.
And right now, I'm just really tired.
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